I can't get no satisfaction
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no satisfaction."
I just realized that the great majority of the ills plaguing mankind are not caused by pathogens but more of greed and our insatiability to acquire things. Things we think would bring us happiness.
My cellphone finally conked and retired the other day.
This one I have been carrying for years now and was the last cellphone my dad bought for me before he died.
I was peeking in the windows looking for a good deal and unit that I could probably save up for and buy.
As I was going from one electronic shop to the other, salesladies were then greeting me at the entrance and enticing me with every electronic gadget a young one like me would drool over and die for.
I really don't have the money to buy one now, I was just looking around, trying to enjoy my idle time, when suddenly these vultures descended on me as if I was a week-old carcass, ripe for the pecking.
To shoo them away is easy though, just tell them you don't have money and they'd leave you alone immediately.
As I was looking at the different cellphone brands and models, reading brochures. I realized that if I was not broke I'd probably buy any thing that catches my fancy right there on the spot.
One unit was boasting of 3G, bluetooth, wi-fi, e-mail, infrared and other capabilities I can no longer remember or know.
Others have added features like mp3's, digital camera to take stills and videos, radio, organizer and other whatchamacallits.
I was like in electronics heaven!
Truth be told I don't really understand half the shit I just read but it surely sounded so good!
All I really need is something that reads my sim card and enables me to send/receive calls and text messages. I do not need the rest. But because it is looked upon as a status quo, bragging tool I was glancing at the pricey items and wished to have one.
When I was in elementary and the first cellphones were released how I wished to have one.
I said to myself, I'd be satisfied with anything as long as I have one! I don't care what unit it is. I just want one. It was the gadget of the in-crowd. The famous people. The important ones.
I did not know any better then. I was a disgusting little retard because I did things just to be liked and "fit in".
A week before my birthday and three months before graduating elementary my parents surprised me with my own cellphone kit. A Nokia 3210. I was ecstatic and over the moon!
Oh I was so happy. Being the first kid to own a cellphone in our area only added more boost to my ego.
Anyway, months after that, different units popped up in the market.
That was the start of the cellphone craze that gripped the Philippines.
A brand new, more desirable unit kept appearing probably every second.
I then started to look at my unit with hate. It wasn't "in" anymore.
I was starting to crave for the "better" ones. The units with better games.
During that time you really can't download games for your phone, it just came pre-programmed with its own.
I was trying to get my dad to buy me another phone. Inventing lame excuses and reasons.
My obsession did not stop with cellphones.
I had to have the branded stuffs like bags, shoes, clothes, perfumes etc.
I was not satisfied. I wanted more and more.
My mindset before was, if it is not branded then its no good. Its not beautiful!
My father in a way, kind of spoiled me. Always giving in to my wishes for as long as he could.
Shortly after I got my cellphone he bought me another one.
The second unit was a Nokia 3310.
Again, it was newly released. I was like a celebrity among my peers. My ego soared to incredible heights.
My greedy attitude persisted 'til my late teens. Always wanting/demanding for the latest in things. Was I ever happy during those times, NO!
I knew I had problems, but I dealt with it the wrong way.
I focused on my insecurities trying to mask them hoping that by doing so others would not see through me. As I said, I was a disgusting little retard.
I should have known better.
My wanting of things was never satisfied. The more fuel was added to my fire the more I consumed and craved. In the end I was left feeling empty, unhappy, unfulfilled.
I grew tired of always feeling that way. I wished to stop. So I just did.
Growing tired of it all. I wanted change I craved for change.
I did not have any life-turning experiences to make me realize it.
Simply feeling tired, I resolved to do something to change it.
I looked at my parents, my dad most especially.
Working day in and taking overtimes at night to make more money in order to pay for things that REALLY mattered ; food on the table, electric bills, tuition and other essential things.
A cellphone or those branded clothes don't fit the category.
I stopped going out with my friends and hanging out in the mall. I saw no point in that exercise.
I tried to be a smart shopper, scouting places to get bargains and discounts.
I did not frequent the high-end boutiques or expensive stalls in the mall.
People whom I thought were friends slowly dropped off one by one because I was no longer in.
Of course I was disappointed for a while but I realized that they were the vexations to my spirit. I no longer cared. I slowly became my own person, no longer dictated by what fashion, peers or society wants. I was able to think for myself and form my own opinions without trying to conform to anyone's standards.
I was slowly freed!
At this point let me tell you I still crave for good things. I am still not satisfied and I can't get no satisfaction. Its a human trait, to always crave for a higher standard of living.
To want, to aspire, to dream...
I dream of good things but now I slowly work for them.
I still would appreciate a good designer bag, shoes, clothes or good electronics and other stuffs but the only difference is that my being is no longer ruled by the thought that I must get the latest and best in order for me to be happy.
Whatever comes my way is much appreciated.
And back to cellphones, I'll just use my old unit, it still works!
This one doesn't look so bad...