Tuesday, December 20, 2011
What's Wrong With Me?
I believe I am stuck in a stupid cycle of always letting go of the people I like. Somewhere between the introduction, getting-to-know-you chats, mobile phone texting, Skype video talks, AOL e-mail exchanges and Facebook status-liking it (whatever IT is) just stops dead on it's tracks and die a very quick death. Silence. No more communications. NOTHING!
After a few days of silence, I then end up spending hours trying to figure out what happened. I then have this burning need in me to find out the precise thing that caused its death. Where did it start getting wrong? Was it something I said, did, didn't do, posted, e-mailed, expressed, texted? Other matters creep into my brain until it hurts.
By then when my energy is already spent; this usually happens two weeks or so after the silence, I am already in the point where I feel a little bit of hatred for the guy because they acted like a dick and just dropped out. But then I end up pining for the guy because I miss the scintillating conversations. Yet I am hurt too and I am too proud to make the other move because I do not know what made them stop talking to me anyway and I might just end up embarrassing myself.
What the hell is wrong with me?