Suicide

Sometimes life gets so tough and fucked up that the only option one sees is to end it all and be done with it.
Still, there are a thousand more reasons why a person decides to take this road.
I am no different from the thousands out there who have contemplated about it during the past years of my existence.

To judge them and call them names, thinking that they are weaklings and fools because they have even entertained such a thought while not knowing the situation that they are going through is not only unfair but unsympathetic.

We don't know what goes on in their lives, what rages in their heads and what is in their hearts so to pass such harsh judgments and criticisms would only make you a contributor to their inner pains and turmoils.

Suicide is considered murder and the religious ones would try to scare the potential doer that his soul would never enter heaven and experience eternal light.
What many fail to realize is they cannot convince these people on dropping the idea of suicide because they fear that an 'Almighty being' would not accept his 'soul' anymore.
The problem is deeper than that and truth be told they no longer give a shit of such things.

Having entertained the thought many times.
I understand why such things would fill one's mind.
They feel hopeless, they see no room for improvement.
Abandoned, alone, rejected and other negative emotions fills one's mind to the point that it becomes too unbearable that the thought of death would appear sweet and a liberation.
The thought of bearing it all, despite the harsh conditions hoping that it would improve is more appalling, for we never know if things would improve. And its the wait that is slowly killing.

I was even able to come up with many reasons how my death would benefit the greater majority.
I felt that if I did it, I would perform the ultimate act of heroism and my action would be justified.

I reasoned that I have no dependents. No one would really miss or need me.
One less person is consuming precious oxygen and other resources.
More elbow room for the living who need the much needed space in this overly populated world.
And I could go on and on...

But, to make this story short. I did not succeed in this endeavor.
Partly because all my three attempts were botched and it was not well executed. I was still very much a child then and the funny part is, when you are close to dying or harming yourself, your instincts would kick in. Somehow, your body fights it all and tries its best to keep you alive.

Reading the article on BBC and the report on Japan's rising suicide rate and 'suicide clubs' wasn't really surprising.
First off, suicide is part of Japanese culture. In the old days Harakiri was even seen as a honorable way out.
So to put the blame on the internet on the rise of suicide rates in a country that somehow holds it as part of their customs is crazy and an insult.

Insult in the sense, that you think these people are mindless twats that just decided to end it because they saw that it was the 'in' thing to do.
Many people who commit suicide are deeper than that.
The person has already thought hard about what he'd do with his life, he's just using the technology to find other people who have also thought about the same thing.

Instead of blaming the internet of the high suicide rate, like what the idiots would immediately do.
Why not ask the question why many young people are now entertaining the said thought to begin with.
In a country of opportunity and with a lot of things to keep you supposedly occupied and happy,
it baffles me why these people would choose to do such a thing.
Here in the Philippines, where most of the people are way below the standard of living,
a lot are unemployed and living in appalling conditions, still people keep going and going.
A news of someone killing himself still comes as a shock to many.

If they want to curb the problem they should address the core of the issue and not just present a lame excuse to try to explain something that is sweeping the youth of this time by storm.

Going to a psychiatrist is the best option one could take.
But, if you can't afford the services of one, just find someone to talk to.
You'll be surprised how relieved you feel, when you decide to just let it all out and be true.



Related: Kiddie Skanks or Idiotic Parents?

Madness

One of my new online hobbies is to tinker with avatars.
I have never liked playing with dolls as a kid.
Having found no enjoyment in playing dress up. I preferred the boys games and toys.
So this is the closest I am getting to actually playing with dolls.

One of these online avatars I tinker with is Yahoo.
I noticed that Yahoo has uploaded a lot of new backgrounds and outfits to their custom options.
One that caught my eye was the Rice Terraces of the Philippine Cordilleras background and Ifugao costume.

I guess I was the only one feeling the irony of it when Yahoo did it. I asked if this was some sort of joke. Knowing very well when Yahoo uploaded these updates the local and even international news agencies were buzzing of the gruesome and untimely death of Julia Campbell.

My condolences goes out to the Campbell family. Julia has done so much for this country and she did not deserve any of it. Knowing well she loved the Filipino people with all her heart.

The news was all over the place. It got so bad that the tourism industry there plummeted to an all-time low.
I asked myself if they purposely timed the release of this new background as a way of helping the country or mocking it by riding the waves of popularity the bad news has generated.
Well, I could not find answers to those questions.
And in fairness to Yahoo they did make it look so scenic and nice.

I was inspecting it with a giant magnifying glass the other day when my brother came in and saw what I was doing, he was "curious" to put it mildly, asking me what on earth I was up to.
I told him to just shut up and help me spot a leg or arm sticking out in the background as a tell-tale sign of a bad portrayal of our country.
He shook his head wearily, as if of pity. An indication that I have finally lost my mind.

I stopped, told myself maybe he's right this time.
But one must always keep an eye out for these sort of things, you see.
And to conclude this little story, I didn't find any appendages or body parts in the picture.
But then again I have terrible eyesight. So if you spot anything, buzz me!

Kiddie Skanks Or Idiotic Parents?

I was in the mall yesterday and it was one of those days when you just have a lot of time to kill.
I didn’t buy anything, I just sat in one of my favorite coffee shops and observed people passing by as I sip a nice cold mocha frappe.

It really warms my heart to see families going out and just have a good time. I sometimes say to myself, one day I’m going to get married and have a family of my own. Seeing the cute kids with their moms and dads running about after them is one of my favorite sights to see.
The mall is like their playground.
Yup! Kids look so innocent.

But, upon closer observation, you stop and shout, EGAD! What are those kids wearing?!?!
I am shocked at the sight of these kids *little girls* wearing clothes that are too raunchy to put it the least.
I don’t know what possessed their parents to buy such distasteful items for their darling little daughters, but it is somehow just not right.

I saw a kid wearing boots, a black mini skirt with sheer stockings, a white shirt that was tied at the front and then maybe to add a little innocence to the whole she-bang she had pigtails on.
At first I didn’t notice, not until one of my friends pointed it out.

She was with mommy!
And in the back of my mind, I just wanted to give mommy a good smack on the head for letting her probably five or six year old daughter get out of the house looking like a mini whore. How could she let her daughter walk around in such an outfit?
Maybe, she felt it as okay because she was with her. But, its just not right.

Another kid I saw was probably nine, she had a very tight top on and she wore red pants with the word “JUICY” imprinted at the bum in black and glitter accents.
Plus, a lot others too. Wearing tube tops, mini mini skirts, tops that are designed for more mature bodies.

If you go to the children’s wear section, the clothes available there looks like it was for a much older woman but in quarter sizes.
Whatever happened to the children’s outfits of frills, bows, cutey bears and other things?
Where did it all go?
It seems they are inviting unwanted paedophilic attention! *my term by the way, no use to look it*
I just hate it! But is it really the kids’ fault or their parents?

Can you blame these little girls, if they want to look like their favorite pop or tv skank icon/stars?
Or must you blame the parents for them looking like mini trailer trash copies?
Others think its its neither of the two's fault, instead pointing out a stubby finger at the media for portraying such things.
They have forever destroyed humanity’s perception of morality *if there was any to begin with* by broadcasting such things as booty shaking, tight outfits, sex, girls like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, etcetera.

Most girls try to emulate Barbie, Bratz and those other dolls mass-produced and vastly marketed as child icons, toys and idols. Damn it! At such a young age they are already being brainwashed as to what beautiful ought to be. No wonder these kids grow up with such distorted views of their own selves, bodies and of the world.

I wish I could say that the situation is improving. But, who am I kidding here. It is only worsening every single day.