I accidentally dropped my 8-month old smartphone today. And while the
world stopped for a few seconds as I tried to do a Matrix-style slow-mo
dive in an awkward attempt to catch it (failing miserably at the same
time) all I could think about after was "Fuck I hope my phone's okay!"
I
immediately grabbed my phone from the ground and dreaded the thought
that the internals might have stopped working. I was glad to find out
that the protective skin made of rubber somehow prevented the
touchscreen glass from shattering; breathing a sigh of relief. Before I
proceed, allow me to thank cheapo products mass produced in China. That
was $5USD well spent on some knock-off phone cover.
I was
sad to see the phone did turn off and as I sat on my haunches oblivious
of the dirt and soil. I stared at this black screen of nothingness which
I have not seen for a very long time. The thought that I may not have a
phone (smartphone) for the next few days hit me. As I was pushing the
power button and saying a prayer to St. Vidicone of Cathode, patron
saint of Electronics (Yes, there is really one) I realized that I have
become so reliant on technology and electronics for the better half of
my adult life. Come to think of it, I can't recall ever turning my phone
off the moment I bought it.
My phone was the only thing
that could distract me from other things I deemed important. I respond
to its beeps like a frantic mother immediately checking on my new born
the moment it starts to make a sound. My baby, dead in the palm of my
hands… I have not been careful enough!
I wanted to cry. It was not
turning on. Then my friend placed his consoling hand on my shoulder and
told me to take out the battery and put it back in again and charge it.
So, reluctantly I did.
I tried to act like nothing
happened and be cool. Some things needed to be finished so I have a few
hours of distraction that lay before me. No vibrations in my pocket, no
notifications to check, no emails to answer, no text or Viber messages
to respond to. Freedom!
As the tasks were slowly completed
one by one and we finally were able to sit down and relax instinctively
I reached for my phone only to be reminded again that it’s charging and
it may not power up. I was forced to sit up and do something I’ve never
done in a long time, nothing. And by doing nothing I was able to
observe my surroundings and be attuned to what is happening around me.
Cricket
sounds, the breeze blowing gently on my skin, the smell of air, soft
humming sounds of my friends as they lay down on the earth bed and tried
to relax. I watched leaves rustling in the wind, I watched the clouds
slowly move behind a pale moon, I watched other people's feet.
I
realized that I really like having this time to myself. It helped me
compose my thoughts. This does not mean I am giving up on technology
though. It’s just that having no phone, no connection to social media
made me more aware of my thoughts, the thoughts that exist and keep
playing in my head even if there is no one around to hear of it. I
missed not being so wired and connected. The appeal of mobile phones
(smart or not) is its ability to make us be reachable 24/7 but as soon
as we were, it demanded from us immediate responses. And if we cannot
reply within the appropriate time we are either perceived as rude or
purposely ignoring. Worst case scenario, loved ones might thing
something terrible has happened to us. Not being able to use my phone
was probably a nudge that a change in behavior was needed with regards
to this whole being connected with the world thing. Yes I miss my baby,
my informant, my paramour! But it made me be reacquainted with myself.
(Hello there stranger, long time no see.)
Then my friend
called me and told me the battery’s full. I immediately got up, took the
phone off the charger, pushed the power button again (this time not so
hopeful that it will turn on) but lo and behold! It turned back on,
chirped its familiar start-up beat, and I am once again reunited with my
baby.
